Agree and Redirect
– by Colle Davis
Learning to listen carefully is the most significant part of the growth process. Agreeing with some aspect of what someone said and moving the conversation on is an art form and the sign of a person with great flexibility.
When a person hears you agreeing with them, it tells them, or they think you have told them you have learned something from them. Their beliefs allow this delusion to persist, and you can take advantage of their mistake.
The trick is creating the opening to insert the redirect. The agreement gives a pause and gives the talker the momentary perception they have made their point. Redirecting them to your choice of subjects takes them a moment to shift gears. In that moment, a learning occurs, and you want the lesson to benefit both of you.
Start with the, “I agree,” phrase to acknowledge you heard them. “I agree, it’s important that we talk about this subject. It has been helpful for me to share with you.”
Using these three vital steps gives you an advantage in any situation.
Odd aside, you did learn something because you are listening carefully.
When the speaker hears you say, “Yes,” they assume you agree. The following response is a powerful tool to move the conversation where you want.
“Yes, I hear what you are saying.” It is NOT an agreement; it is an acknowledgment, very different. However, they will interpret your yes as agreeing with their position.
Even more powerful is the agree and redirect statement/question.
“Yes, I heard what you said, and have you thought about this subject?”
At that point, you are back in control of the direction of the interaction.
Side note: Most people are not smart enough to argue with logic, are too opinionated to change their minds, and will only listen if they think you understand their position. Play their game and win most of the time.
If you don’t win the round, you can at least stay in the game, or leave and have fun elsewhere.
For more tips and ideas, contact me for a free coaching session.
Coach Colle Davis
Contact me if you or someone you know needs help in these areas. I am a Senior Level Master Coach and Certified Hypnotist with nearly 40 years of experience helping corporate clients. Reserve your free thirty-minute Zoom call with me; your life will never be the same. 804-467-1536 EDT cdavis@mycoach.com
